projects

doption and other forms

If…

You do care

You have a heart for other people’s pain

You are willing to give a hope for a loving and caring family to a child

You are willing to make a difference at least in one child life

You want to make at least one dream of an orphan come true, and share their loneliness — this can be a start, and a first victory over your self.

There are several forms of family placement for orphans. Some are well known; others are still new in this country. We want to introduce you to adoption, fostering, fostering family and a family-run orphanage.

Adoption is taking a child into the family with all rights of a son or a daughter. This helps the child feel himself/herself as a true family member and gives him/her a right to inherit property. Adoption can be performed by a family couple or a single person; the state gives no financial support (but for the cases of adoption of babies where special benefits are paid and a maternity leaf is possible). However, the issue of permanent state support to adopted children has been widely discussed lately, and we cannot exclude the possibility of a positive decision here. One of the major hindrances to it is the archaic law defining secrecy of adoption. There are five countries in the world (at most), including Ukraine and Belarus, that have this statement supported legally. If we understand the words of a mother who adopted two children and said, “It is more important for a child to know he/she was born right in the heart rather than under the heart” and realize the threat of hiding the truth from the child — we can definitely say that truth and true love are far more important for a healthy and strong family. Adopting parents can give the child their last name, change his/her name, patronymic, the place and date of birth.

This is the highest level of responsibility for a child’s life and for his/her sound development. Adoption gives the child incomparable sense of security and helps him/her experience the true love and care of the parents.

Fostering and custody is taking the child into a family as a foster child to care for his/her well-being, upbringing and education. The last name of the foster child is hardly ever changed, and the foster parent cannot be written into the metrics as the parent of the child. Fostering is possible for the orphans up to age 15, and custody for orphans from 15 to 18 years of age. Foster parents receive financial support from the state, which as by January 1, 2009 made up:

501 UAH per month for children from birth till 6 years of age,

718 UAH per month for the children from 6 to 18 years of age (or till 23 years of age if the child continues education) on condition that the foster child is living at your place. The foster parent has a right to take the child off the adoption list and he/she is obliged to report annually to the childcare authorities his/her activities done in the best interests of the child.

Fostering family (FF) is a family that took orphans and children taken from their parents by the state (one to four children). There is state financial support given to FFs, which equals two minimum living wages (as set by the Budget Law) per a child taken into the family. For each child from birth to 6 years of age this support will be 1002 UAH, and for each child 6-18 years of age it will be 1436 UAH. The parents of FF receive an allowance, which equals 30% of the benefits received for the children.

Family-run orphanage (FRO) is a separate family initiated by a couple or a single person (they will be the care providers) that takes no less than five orphans or children taken from their parents by the state. There cannot be more than 10 children in the family (including biological children of the care providers, if any. Like with FF there is financial support given to FROs equal to two minimum living wages per child taken into the family. The parents-care providers receive an allowance, which equals 30% of the benefits received for the children. Besides, some help might be given as to improvement of living conditions (if they demand it).

These legal differences of various forms of placement of the children do not have any difference from spiritual or emotional perspective (lest the adopting parents choose to keep the adoption secrecy — its causes and necessity can be discussed with childcare social workers). In each of the described cases the parents take complete responsibility for the present and future of a young person; they teach him/her to live and model a healthy family relationships that the children can later rely on in their adult life.

Of course, one should not jump into action impressed by the eyes of the children from the orphanage. Do not haste. Take your time to think through the for and contra. But do not pass by nonchalantly — for your home might become the home for a child and give him/her a second chance… Talk to the members of your family about it and we also recommend a consultation of a psychologist working with adopting/fostering families and adopted children. There are specialists in this field in every regional Childcare department. Their calling and responsibility is to provide information and consultation on issues related to orphans and parentless children.

Today there are only four countries in the world that have no orphanages: Iceland, Norway, Great Britain, and Slovakia.

You can make things change in Ukraine.

THEY ARE WAITING FOR YOU!

For you parents

For the parents:

Specialists in the field of child protection recommend to

keep the history of each child (ie, the child has a right

to know his/her name, history, parents, etc.)

But if you do decide to leave the matter in secret, then

such a decision should be "ironcast". It is believed that

keeping the secrecy of adoption is somehow benefitial for

the parents, sometimes they do not even realize it. In

addition, there are shortcomings in the legislation. Thus

until the child is 18 parents may at their will keep the

secret of adoption and demand it of the others, including

officials of the social service. But on the other hand,

when the child turns 14 they have a right to reveal this

secret to him/her. The paradox is that before this the

child lived in a secure world, in a family and did not even

suspect that he was a "stranger" or "adopted". And then at

puberty, when there is a surge of hormones, mood swings,

etc., he suddenly finds the truth out ... Not many

teenagers can cope with such news, often the children leave

the family, angry at the world, including the parents. As

an alternative experts from all over the world recommend to

speak on this matter with the adopted children as they

grow, and the sooner the better, but always at the level of

their age and understanding. One of the ways can be to

celebrate two birthdays, i.e. the actual day of birth and

the day when the child was "born" into this family. Thus

the child will feel being accepted and loved, being special

and born in the heart rather than under the heart. This

will come to him with celebration, acception and gifts,

rather than on a "street level" - a stranger, a foundling,

etc.

Read the story of the adopted

Helpful Tips

- Keep in touch with other foster families to prevent

isolation.

- There is no optimal age for adoption (fostering), but it

is the-sooner-the-better for a child to find a family .

- Recognize the sorrow of the child and allow the child to

understand your losses.

- Not all of the problematic behavior or feelings are

related to adoption, many are associated with the

development of or related to the circumstances in the

environment of the child. It will be helpful to talk to

other parents and/or knowledgeable professionals to

determine whether the problem is with adoption, or it is a

normal part of education and upbringing.

- Talk about adoption in the family. Often you should bring

up the subject yourself because the child may be afraid to

ask questions, worrying that will hurt his parents'

feelings.

- Encourage your child to have a positive attitude to his

biological family. For a the child to have a good

self-esteem a possitive attitude towards his "roots" is

needed. Remember that parents are allowed to love more than

one child. Children should be allowed to love more than one

parent. Do not force your child to choose between you and

the biological parents.

- Find out as much information as possible about the

history of the child and his own family. Get all the

possible information from the place where the child was

placed.

- Always be honest when you talk about biological family

and the history. If the information is very difficult, some

facts can be postponed until the child grows up. The facts

must never be changed. The rule is that children should

have complete information by the time of their adolescence.

- Be alert to the signs of distress when there is loss or

change. Be sensitive to the "significant dates" and

increasing emotional stress around birthdays, holidays, and

Mother's Day. Make sure that you discuss feelings and

concerns openly.

- Let adoptive father be the primary parent during

adolescence. The feeling of bitterness and anger for having

been abandoned is usually directed at the biological

mother. This anger is often projected onto the adoptive

mother. The relationship between mothers and adolescents

can become very tense. Adoptive father must regulate

relations as much as it is possible.

- Avoid battles for control. You may need to lose a few

battles to win the war. Parents may well affect only one or

two behaviors at once. Arrange for the priorities of your

battles, and be prepared to leave aside many other less

important issues.

If you have questions please feel free to ask them.

Always happy to serve you,

Kherson Regional Charity Fund "My Home":

+38 050 396 06 08 Marina Petkivskaya

+38 050 396 07 08 Nadezhda Kim

children with limited possibility

The cultural level of a given society is judged by the way it treats its disabled members.

"In the third millennium the planet’s population must face the fact that there are the

disabled and that they require adequate living conditions. Statistics claims that

about 10% of the planet’s population (over 500 million people) have innate or

acquired disabilities; one out of ten people suffer from physical, mental or sensory

disabilities and up to 25% of the entire population have health problems.

Approximately one family out of four has a disabled member."

A serious effect of children’s disability is the limitation of their life activity.

As the result, disabled children have difficulty with independent living skills,

with socializing and learning.

Any disabled child, even with a loving and caring family, feels lonely,

inadequate, upset, depressed and even aggressive due to absence

of robust contact with the world of peers and lack of experience caused by

a specific manner of life under the conditions of an illness. It is even more

relevant for the children brought up in the orphanage for children with disabilities.

The time is not structured for such a child; he does not know what to do in

his spare time, how to develop his abilities (which he does not know either)

— whereas there are unlimited possibilities for mental development.

To make a difference in this and to change lives of at least some

of the children and give them a chance to develop and grow,

as well as to help the families bringing up special needs children

My Home Charity Fund and Houses for Children Mission together

with churches from Tsurupinsk start a new project.

As the result of this project we envision creating a center

for 3-4 families that each would take at least one child with

special needs. Today there is a patch of land purchased in

Tsurupinsk, and there are families willing to be part of this

project. The place has been chosen thoughtfully as it is in

Tsurupinsk where an orphanage for disabled children is

located. We plan to have a training center as part of this

project — so that Christians from all over Ukraine who

are willing to take disabled children into their families

could find information and practical help there. The construction

is to be commenced this spring.

We will appreciate support of any kind: in prayers as well

as in finance and resources. (see section I want to help)

Online collection «THEY WHO OVERCAME FATE» is dedicated to

real stories of the people of history and of today. Illness and circumstances

of life doomed them for a hopeless and miserable life of a severely

disabled person. However, talent, hard work and inner strength

helped them to not only overcome their weakness but to become

helpful to others and make an impact in science, culture and social life.

www.pobedivshie.ru

 «It lays paws up, moving its extremities sporadically and waving its
 tail helplessly. Its eyes search for something to hold onto. Its big hard 
shell protects its delicate body — and it is killing it. There is a whole 
mob of onlookers: everyone is compassionate and discussing what can
 be done; some are giving advice. Until there is someone there who 
comes up to put it the right side up. This is the fate of a turtle...»

The world is changing in a wink of an eye. How fast you are to adapt and
 change yourself will decide your life: whether you will live with gratitude to 
God for each day that passed — or hate everything; overcome pain — or hurt
 everyone around you; be needed or be forgotten. It is all in you. It is not too 
difficult. At times it is even more difficult for those around you, and it is all in your 
power to determine how the people will perceive others that are like you — the disabled. 
Begin with yourself. May you have enough patience and health...

FREE services for special needs citizens:
Contact info: Kharkov, 2 Danilevskogo str.; tel. 720-46-00;

e-maіl: choі This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
http://choice.iatp.org.ua
Services provided:
- information
- psychological
- rehabilitation
- preventive
- arrangement of hobbies and leisure
Service description :
• Psychological services: diagnosis, assessment, personal counseling, group training
• Pedagogical services: computer skills classes, consultations for students
• Leisure time and development of creativity: "Literary studio", attending theater, library,

concerts; setting up exhibitions, contests, excursions, etc.
• Rehabilitation: spatial orientation for the blind, training in the Braille script, independent living skills
• Information: providing consultations for parents of special needs children concerning their

children’s upbringing and development, Center website maintenance, issuance of newsletter.